


Face My Fears: Kairi's Redemption

by morganyork



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen, Spoilers - Kingdom Hearts III
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 12:03:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17683076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morganyork/pseuds/morganyork
Summary: WARNING: Major spoilers for Kingdom Hearts 3 ahead! The latest installment in the Kingdom Hearts series was brilliant, but its treatment of Kairi was highly disappointing to many Kingdom Hearts fans, me included. What if the game ended without robbing Kairi of her agency? What if Kairi truly got to put her Keyblade training to use? Here, I have written how I think Kairi's character should have been handled at the end of KH3, without interfering too much with canon and still allowing room for the game to retain its overall ending.





	Face My Fears: Kairi's Redemption

The Keyblade Graveyard was more overrun than we’d counted on.

Maybe that’s wrong. Maybe more seasoned warriors like Sora and Riku and Aqua had seen it coming and braced themselves properly. Maybe Axel and I were the only ones overwhelmed. Judging by the look on Sora’s face when the first swarm of Heartless came, I don’t think so.

I caught my breath slowly, subtly, so the others wouldn’t see me panting. What would that look like to them? That I was down for the count already? That I couldn’t pull my weight, after so much training and planning? Too many times in that forest with Axel, I lay on the grass in the ring, covered in bruises and cuts from that day’s fourteenth duel, convinced I couldn’t keep going. But I got up. I always got back up. Today wouldn’t be any different.

I got my bearings. I’d used a Potion already, which wasn’t great—that Heartless swarm was only the beginning. Yen Sid had warned us where this fight would happen, but reality hit so much harder than his descriptions. This wasn’t the gorgeous landscape Axel and I trained in, full of birds and scattered sunlight. This was a desert, where the heat sucked the air right out of me. Dirt swirled from the aftermath of our battle, coating my arms and legs, so dry it crept down my throat and caked it with dust. Grit clung to my hair. Every inch of me was grime. Hadn’t that been me two years ago, playing in the sand back on the islands? But that had been fun. A game. This was work. My body burned from the effort.

Mickey called something out, and my head jerked up. A figure in the distance.

Another fight incoming. I breathed in. Breathed out. _Pull it together, Kairi._

Ven gasped. “Terra!” 

He rushed to greet the figure, ignoring Aqua’s protest. She hurried after him. I stayed tense, ready to summon my Keyblade at a moment’s notice. This had to be Ven and Aqua’s friend. Hadn’t he succumbed to darkness before? Was he friendly?

He didn’t look very friendly.

“Terra!” Ven cried. “We found you!”

“Terra,” Aqua said, “please say you’re in there.”

He was taking too long to respond. Beside me, Axel muttered, “Oh boy…”

Aqua wrenched Ven back. “Aqua!” Ven snapped. “What gives?”

“I know that you’re not him,” Aqua said, eyes still on the man who resembled Terra. “Now let our friend go!”

Terra smirked. Closed his eyes. I eased into my fighting stance as white hair overtook the brown, as his blue eyes were swallowed by gleaming yellow.

“Yep, another Xehanort,” Axel whispered, copying my stance. “Knew it was another Xehanort.” 

“Shh,” I said to him, hushed. “Remember. Quips.”

He rolled his eyes. Yen Sid had gotten on his case more than once about his obsession with delivering witty quips in battle. It took up too much of his focus, and had led to his defeat by my hand more than once. Although I like to think my skill had something to do with it, too. 

“His _is_ their thirteenth,” Mickey said. 

“Today is the day you all lose,” Terra declared.

As he delivered some speech surely meant to trample our morale, I repeated Yen Sid’s mantras in my head, the ones he’d taught me. _On your guard. Magic ready. May your heart be your guiding—_

Terra struck without warning, straight to Ven’s gut. Ven went flying back. 

“Ven!” Aqua cried. 

“That’s it!” Sora lunged at Terra. _Here we go_ , I thought. _This is where it starts._

But Terra stopped Sora’s Keyblade before it ever hit him. Sora struggled to yank it free. With a flick of Terra’s hand, Sora launched back. I winced when he hit the ground.

Fear choked me before I could take my next breath. Squeezed my chest so tight I thought my lungs would give out. How powerful _was_ Terra, that he could take down Sora without touching him? Sora, who’d saved the worlds more than once? 

Then Terra’s eyes met mine. He charged.

I didn’t move. I just stared, limbs limp. Everything Master Yen Sid had taught me dashed from my brain, out of reach.

Axel leapt in front of me, Keyblade prepared. Terra knocked him away, blasting him through solid stone before he slammed into a rock wall.

“Axel!” I screamed.

I did that. I _caused_ that. I forgot my training, and now Axel was injured. Panic rose in me, so fast I couldn’t press it down. _Stupid Kairi, stupid stupid_ —

_Not stupid,_ said another voice within me. _We talked about this. Don’t call yourself that._

Naminé. A lump rose in my throat.

Terra hadn’t budged. He stood before me, Keyblade raised overhead.

It was now or never.

I whipped out my Keyblade with a yell. The clink of it hitting Terra’s blade lanced down my arms and rang through my bones, metal to metal, force against force. I grunted, holding my own, grinding my teeth as his blade pressed mine lower, lower—

_Those who’ve turned to darkness are so strong,_ Naminé said to me. My knees bent, starting to buckle. _They do everything in their power to make you weak. I know Yen Sid says you have to be strong, but don’t blame yourself for feeling weak. It’s by design. It’s not your fault._

I thought of Naminé. Her memories, sitting in the space between my heart and hers. How the Organization had taken her. Exploited her. Trapped her. How she’d fought with the only power she’d had. 

I stepped back far enough that Terra stumbled forward. An opening. With a shout, I whipped my Keyblade back and brought it arcing toward him. The blow echoed through the graveyard. 

Terra hurled backward. So did I. My elbows smacked the ground, and my Keyblade skittered away. Above me curved a sea of blue sky, vivid and bright. It could’ve been Destiny Islands. The sand beneath me could’ve been beach. I held fast to the memory, to the comfort. _Pretend you’re there_ , I told myself. _Your elbows sting from dueling Selphie. You’re okay. You’re okay._

The battle had begun, and I’d struck first.

# 

The next few hours were some of the most strenuous of my life. But it beat waiting on that island. Back then, I’d felt helpless, useless. There’d been so much silence. I could only hope the people I cared about made it back in one piece. The minutes felt like hours, the hours like years. And there was nothing I could do. My days were empty. So were my nights. My conversations. My heart. Full of nothing. 

Fighting hurt, but it wasn’t nothing.

I sat behind Sora as we regained our strength. I’d been thrown back by Saïx, and Sora had sprawled in front of me a minute ago. Both of us were fresh out of Potions. I stayed down, letting my magic recharge so I could cure. The magic prickled through my Keyblade, popping like bubbles against my hand as it replenished itself.

Running out of magic at that moment had come with a cost: I’d almost watched Xemnas destroy Axel. As Xemnas was about to land a lethal strike, a thought had snaked through my mind: _get in front of him. Save him._ With how much damage I’d taken, it would’ve killed me. How could I not, though? Axel didn’t deserve to die. I couldn’t just let it happen after all we’d been through together. 

I didn’t have to decide. The hooded girl fighting with Saïx had intervened. I didn’t know how. I didn’t know why. I didn’t even know who she was, or why no one had mentioned her before. Yet Axel seemed to know her. And now, the fight had turned in our favor—Roxas had returned. Naminé’s heart skipped several beats within me. 

Roxas pointed his Keyblade at Xemnas. “It seems you’re not as good at winning over people’s hearts as you think.” 

“Ah,” said Xemnas, clearly frazzled by Roxas’s appearance. “I see.”

Magic hummed beneath my fingers, restored to my Keyblade. I cast Curaga on myself and Sora, pushed to my feet, and helped Sora up. 

“There was one last thing I needed in order to be whole again,” Roxas went on. “A connection. Sora helped me find my way back here. To my friends.”

“Roxas!” Sora said with a grin.

Roxas acknowledged him. I shook off some of the dust and settled into my stance. The time to rest was over. _On your guard. Magic ready._

“I don’t need hearts,” Xemnas said. “I will scatter them all to the winds.” 

He vanished. I blinked, startled. Was he gone? Could we safely—?

A gloved hand grabbed my wrist from behind. Xemnas.

“Kairi!” Sora yelled.

Xemnas’ grip was so firm, it was all I could do not to shout. I struggled, shoes sliding against sand, kicking up dirt. His hand cinched tighter, tighter.

“What difference does one little light make?” Xemnas asked. “You have others.”

What was he talking about? What did he mean?

Then I realized: he wasn’t speaking to me. He was speaking to Sora. As if I wasn’t there. As if I wasn’t a threat, and held no Keyblade in my hand.

Anger surged through me with a violence I hadn’t felt in more than a year. Not since Sora released my heart from his body and I’d watched him fall. I’d told Sora about that feeling, once. We’d discussed it one night on the island after The World That Never Was, sipping lazily from coconuts as our legs swung over the side of the dock. My anger had surprised him. _I thought you were a Princess of Heart?_ he’d said, in his lovably clueless way. _Isn’t your heart pure?_

I’d answered, _Whoever said anger and purity couldn’t coexist?_

This scene was so familiar: Xemnas using me to bait Sora, darkness emanating from his black coat. Even his grip reminded me of something—of Axel, back when he’d fought for the wrong side. He’d hauled me out of Twilight Town, knowing I was defenseless. That feeling of being dragged, of my frantic tugs that did nothing to ease his hold and the knowledge that I was weak, _so weak_ , destroyed me. I sat in that cell in The World That Never Was, emptied of tears, robbed of my freedom. It hadn’t mattered how hard I’d tried to escape. I’d failed. I was pathetic. My capture was my fault. 

_Not your fault_ , Naminé whispered.

Not my fault. 

I raised my Keyblade and whacked Xemnas in the face.

He staggered back, eyes wide with shock. I couldn’t help smirking. He’d underestimated me. I swung again, and again, and again. Today, I would prove him wrong, because I was fueled by a fire none of the others had ever known. I was no one’s pawn. I was no one’s prize and no one’s fallback plan. I was a person. I was a Princess of Heart and a Guardian of Light and a Keyblade wielder rolled into one. This story was Sora’s, and it was Axel’s, and Riku’s, Ven’s, Aqua’s, Terra’s, Roxas’s, Donald’s, Goofy’s, Mickey’s. The hooded girl’s. Naminé’s. And it was _mine_.

Xemnas grunted. I’d cornered him against a wall. With a glare, he let darkness consume him and disappeared. 

“Coward!” I shouted. “Come back and fight!”

“Excellent work, Kairi,” Axel said from behind me. “You perfected that combo!”

I shot him a grateful smile. Combos hadn’t been simple to get the hang of. During training, I’d pulled more all-nighters than I could count making them better, always better. Axel had poked fun at me for my perfectionism. Well, look at me now. 

Someone materialized in front of me, blowing me back from the wall. Saïx. This wasn’t finished. 

Over my shoulder, I glanced at Sora. He nodded at me and at Roxas. I didn’t miss the awe in his eyes. The admiration. A rush of warmth spread through my chest and made my throat flutter.

Now for Saïx. He was important to Axel, but he wasn’t guiltless, either. He’d monitored that awful jail cell in The World That Never Was. When I’d escaped with Naminé’s help and raised my fists to fight, he’d said something that had seared into my mind. Something I remembered in my deepest moments of shame: _If I had a heart, this would be where I die of laughter._

I adjusted my grip on my Keyblade, letting the humiliation of that moment flow through me. He’d mocked me. Belittled me. Made me feel small. Weak.

I thought of all this as I rammed my Keyblade into his chest.

# 

When the skirmish with Saïx ended, I kept on the sidelines with Sora to let Axel handle it. I knew he needed this. He’d poured his heart out about Saïx one night—Isa, rather—after a long day of training, on our favorite rock as we watched the sunset. He hadn’t even laughed when I’d joked that his tears would make his ice cream too salty. I realized I’d struck a nerve.

As I watched Axel and Saïx speak, I fought to keep my tears down. So much pain in my friend’s face. So much anguish in Saïx’s voice as he spoke of how their friendship had fractured. 

“I was jealous,” Saïx said.

“You admit it,” Axel said.

“Well, if I make it back…you won’t get it out of me a second time.” Saïx slumped over. Axel caught him. 

“See you, Isa,” Axel said.

“See you, Lea.”

Slowly, Saïx faded. Would we find him again, recompleted? Would I be able to forgive him the way I forgave Axel? At least in Axel’s case, he’d kidnapped me hoping he could see Roxas. Saïx had only sought to serve evil.

I clenched my fists. If Axel wanted it, I’d find a way to make amends.

Axel rose from the ground. He faced Roxas and the hooded girl—what had Sora called her? Xion?—and smiled. But I knew that smile. It was the one he put on when he donned his funny-guy persona, his last-ditch effort to avoid feeling something. The smile he wore when he was desperate not to cry. 

I tapped Sora’s shoulder. “We should go.”

“What? But Roxas—”

I put my finger to my lips, hiding a grin. Sora had never grasped the concept of whispering. “I think they need to be alone.”

Sora hesitated. Finally, he gave me his energetic nod and sped ahead. I threw one last look at the mysterious trio I couldn’t wait to hear more about. Then I followed him deeper into the labyrinth. 

# 

We reached a flat expanse of rock, freed from the cracked rubble of the graveyard’s maze and out into open air. A lone figure stood amid dust clouds, his silver hair glistening in the twilight.

“Riku!” Sora and I called together.

“Sora! Kairi! About time,” Riku said.

“Sorry! Where’s the King?” Sora asked.

“He fell back to regroup with Donald and Goofy. Everyone else okay?”

“Yeah,” I told him. “Roxas and Terra are back. They’re with their friends.”

I caught my breath. A unique sense of safety wrapped around me, calmed me down. Here were my two favorite boys. This journey had taken us farther than we’d ever imagined, when we’d built that raft. When the word _adventure_ meant freedom and wonder and joy.

We hadn’t understood how much of adventure meant danger.

“What about you two?” Riku confirmed. “You good?”

I gave him a smug smile. It was so easy to slip back into my old self with these two. “Good? I’m better than good. I’m fighting Xehanort’s thirteen, and I’m doing all of it in a skirt. Beat that.” 

Sora and Riku laughed. Before Riku could hit me with a comeback, a burst of wind kicked up more dust. We shielded our eyes. I squinted.

Xehanort’s Heartless, Xemnas, and Young Xehanort encroached on us, eyes wide and wicked. Beyond them, Master Xehanort stood on a massive pillar, arms clasped behind his back. He held himself with arrogance that made me want to cut him down right then and there. He’d ruined so many people.

“The thirteen darknesses and seven lights have clashed nine times, yielding these nine keys.” Master Xehanort thrust out his arm. Nine identical Keyblades encircled him.

“Keys?” I asked.

“We are four short,” Xehanort said. “But those four keys will be produced here and now.” 

“Yeah, sure,” Sora jeered. “And what makes you think there’d ever be any way we’d help you with that?”

“You plan to stand there and take it as I strike you down?” Xehanort asked. “I don’t think so. You’re too full of light to watch darkness prevail without a fight. You won’t be able to help yourselves.” 

Riku stepped forward. “If you do summon Kingdom Hearts, we will defeat you. And we will close it again.”

“Perhaps.” Xehanort closed his eyes. “That is…if you survive that long.”

Xehanort’s Heartless, Xemnas, and Young Xehanort attacked. I launched myself at the person who’d hurt me worst: Xemnas.

My Keyblade hit his glowing red weapons with a clatter. His hands crackled with lightning, his feet floating an inch above the ground. _It’s all show_ , I told myself. _Flashiness. You can win. You can do this._

I thwacked him once, twice, thrice. I watched the tip of my Keyblade slash his cheek. Was anything more satisfying than seeing this menacing man get thrashed by a face-full of flowers? A burst of fire, a slash of ice, and he was at the mercy of my magic. Adrenaline barreled through me, setting my veins alight with flames that wouldn’t die. I’d never felt so strong, so skilled. So in control.

Then I took too long landing my next hit. Xemnas sliced through me with rapid strokes. I gasped. It was scissor-blades on my skin. I couldn’t escape—he spun in place, pummeling me over and over with that red beam of light. There was no chance to hit him. No opening.

Yen Sid’s words flashed in my mind: _You’re small. A tiny target. Use that to your advantage._

Xemnas whipped out his dual blades again. I ducked. His spinning attack didn’t reach that low, granting me the second I needed to dodge roll away. In the past, I would’ve beat myself up for retreating, for not sticking to the fight. But retreating was part of a warrior’s strategy. Staying too close could be a recipe for death.

I maintained tunnel vision, keeping my eyes on Xemnas so they wouldn’t wander to the other two. It was a challenge—so much silver hair and black clothing, even on our side, thanks to Riku’s fashion choices. Meanwhile, I was bright pink and red. A peacock on the battlefield. I made a mental note to ask Yen Sid what he’d been thinking when he picked out my clothes.

Xemnas fired glowing projectiles at me. I brought up my Keyblade to block. Each projectile hit with a _ding_ and spiraled off the platform. Well, two could play at that game. I aimed my Keyblade and released a string of magic bullets using my shotlock command. They battered him one by one, exploding with daisies and sunflowers. I hadn’t been so sure about my Keyblade’s design when I first got it, but man, that was hilarious to witness. 

He lurched to the side. I thought I had him. But he unleashed three orbs emanating blue light, sizzling with electricity. It sent me reeling. Before I could rebound, he whirled with his spinning attack. I was buffeted, slapped between blades. My cheeks throbbed, my sore arms screamed. I couldn’t take this much damage. My magic was recharging, my item satchel was empty, and Sora and Riku were occupied. 

I was about to lose what stamina I had left.

_No_ , I told myself. _Xemnas doesn’t get to destroy me. I’m not his prisoner anymore._

And I wouldn’t become one. Never again. 

I broke out of his flurry of attacks. Managed to hit him once. Once more. Again. Then I let my greatest power loose.

Pink light washed over me. My Keyblade transformed. Three blades protruded from the end, all of them yellow, garnished with tiny leaves. The pointed stars of a paopu fruit.

I was too quick for Xemnas. My Keyblade pierced through him, jabbed him from every angle. I channeled my energy into my Keyblade’s three points, fueled by what each of them meant to me. _Kairi. Sora. Riku._ My best friends and me, melded as one.

I swung until the muscles in my arms shrieked, until my legs threatened to give. Then, at last, darkness erupted from him. That was it. I’d beaten him.

I’d beaten Xemnas, Head of Organization XIII and Xehanort’s Nobody, all by myself.

Xemnas opened his hands to the clouds. I kept my Keyblade out, gasping for breath. Beside me, Riku kept Xehanort’s Heartless at bay, while Sora rested on one knee, regaining strength. Young Xehanort must’ve hit him hard.

Xemnas stared at his hands. “Bested…by a Princess of Heart.”

Yes indeed. Now that it was finished, though, some of me deflated. He looked so worn down. So miserable.

“I know you have a heart, too,” Sora said, his gaze on Xemnas. “What do you feel? Was it worth it?” 

“I feel…the emptiness where my companions once stood. I took them for granted.”

I knew that feeling. I’d been alone that year on the islands. I’d never dreamed I would lose the most important people I’d ever known, for so long.

“And now,” Xemnas went on, “I have…nothing. My first surge of emotion in years for as long as I can remember…and it’s loneliness. Do you see? A heart is just pain.” 

My own heart smarted with that same pain. Was this what falling to darkness was? Hurting? Desperately seeking a way out?

“Pain is being human, Xemnas,” Sora said.

“Really?”

Xemnas began to fade. I couldn’t help it—I reached out to him. I may not have known darkness, but I knew loneliness. I didn’t want to consign anyone to that fate. 

He acknowledged my hand with a look. The subtlest look. “It must take…incredible strength.”

Then the darkness snatched him away.

I didn’t know what to do with the silence. I didn’t know what to do with the fact that I’d just obliterated someone. It was power, so much power. And it was pain.

“Sora!”

Riku’s voice. I spun. Sora still knelt on the ground, exhausted. And Young Xehanort was racing toward him.

He was about to finish Sora off.

Riku bolted over. Xehanort’s Heartless appeared in front of him, forcing him back with shimmering marionette strings. Sora lifted his Keyblade to block. Young Xehanort sent out a string of green light, fastened it around Sora’s Keyblade, and ripped it out of his hands, rendering Sora defenseless.

I ran before I could think. Young Xehanort’s Keyblade tore through the air. I shoved Sora out of the way, turned to block—

The Keyblade speared me in the chest.

Pain quaked through me, so sharp and all encompassing it was like nothing else existed. I couldn’t make a sound. The scream died in my throat, drowned in my heart.

“Kairi!” Sora’s voice broke. Somewhere, Riku called my name, too.

I collapsed. The rocky ground, so stable before, was spinning. I kept blinking, as if that would help. As if that would cast away this nightmare and mend the crack running through me. 

A strangled shout. Clash, clash, metal meeting metal. Young Xehanort was drawn away. Hands supported me, brought me into someone’s lap. Soft, large hands. Sora.

His face looked down upon me, with those eyes so brilliant blue, like the sky that gave him his name. Tears rolled down his cheeks. He cradled my head. “Kairi, no, please! Stay here!”

“Sora?” I sounded so scared. My voice felt distant, far removed. Was this happening? It couldn’t be. I wasn’t finished. I wasn’t done.

Clumsily, I wiped Sora’s face. I didn’t want to make him cry. 

A new fear cinched my already blazing chest: Naminé. She was part of me. What would happen to her? If I died, would she…? 

_Kairi?_ Naminé whispered. She didn’t say more. Why? Was she dying, too?

“You’re okay, Kairi,” Sora said. “Please be okay. Stay with me. Stay here.”

The clouds above blurred. I was dizzy. The world wasn’t holding itself together anymore. 

With a shaking hand, I pressed my finger to Sora’s chest. To his heart. “Here,” I croaked. “I’m…here.”

Blackness took over. Blotted out Sora and the graveyard.

_Naminé. I’m so sorry._  

I was gone.


End file.
